Had A Tiring Week So Far, Seems Like Everything Is Not Going On Smoothly For Me. At This Point Of Time My Mind Is Always Filled With Thoughts. This, That & Everythings That Happened In My Life.

Always Ask Myself How Come I Landed Where I Am Now, But Till Now I Still Cant Get A Definite Answer From Myself. What I Hope For Is Just A Simple Life With My Love One. Ask Myself Today, What Im Seeking In A R/S Now, Is What I Really Want? To Be Honest I Really Dont Know. Ask Myself Another Question, Exactly How Many People I Really Love So Far? The Answer Is 2.... And How Many Peoples' Love I Did Feel In Return? And The Answer Is 1.... Lastly, So Far How Many People Try To Date & Love Me & Lastly Got My Love In Return Too? The Answer Is 0.... Realise One Thing Which Alot Of People Did. I Love You This 3 Words Is Easily Said Between Couple, But How Many People Actually Really Did What They Say? To Be Honest I Had Said It Alot Of Times To Some Of My Ex, Now Than I Realise There Is Only 2 Person Which I Said It From My Heart. The Rest Are All Say For The Sake For The R/S. Know Is Kinda Bad, So I Did Learn Something From Myself Too, Never Say I Love You Easily Again....

Havent Really Been Really Happy Since 08/02/2010..... Though I Lost, But I Think I Gain Experience At The Same Time. Cant Forcus On Anything Im Doing, Probably Becoz Of This Reason My Work Screwed Up..... Kept Forcing Myself To Forcus When I Know I Cant, Ended Up Become More Agitated.... Argh..... Think I Need To Have A Rest Soon After Everything Is Settled In Work....

Wants To Post Happy Things Here, But Nothing Seems Happy So Far..... Joining Mango To Bed Now. Nightz To The Whole World & Hugs To "U"....

Once Again Today Is Chinese New Year & It Also Falls On Valentines' Day. Hereby Wish Everyone A Happy Chinese New Year & Also Happy Valentines' Day.

Dun Really Have Any Mood FOr This 2 Occasions, Mum & Sis Went To Relatives' House For Home Visiting While I Rather Choose To Stay At Home To Watch TV. Suppose To Plan To Cook For A Simple Dinner Today For One Of This Occasion But Ended Up Cooking Mee....

Was Watching Mob TV Just Now, Channel 8 Drama Series- Your Hand In Mine. Miss Holding Hand To Sleep. Its Been 1 Week That I Had lost This Feel. Have I Really Move On? I Thought I Am Happy The Past 2 Days Till Yesterday Than I Realise What Im Thinking Is Only From My Side. What I Wish For Is Only Be Like The Past When We Are Still Frens, Nothing More. Dun Make Things So Complicated Is Just What I Got As A Reply, Sometimes Im Really Confuse...

Was Talking To A Fren Yesterday, Ask Him Out To Chill. But He Told Me That This Day Is Specially Left For His Love One Only. So Envy.... Was Thinking How Nice If I Can Spend This Meaningful Occasion Also. Its Been A Long Time Since I Last Celebrate... Its One Of The Most Memorable Occasion That Im Waiting For To Celebrate If I Have Any Also....

Lastly To All Couples Out There HAppy Valentines' Day & Wish You and Your Loves One Loving Till The End. For Those Who Are Single, May U Find Your Love One Soon....

So Happy Today..... Clearing Up Stuffs In The Wardrobe But Still Left Somethings Untouch. Happy For What It Is Now. I Dun Really Expect Too Much But Hopefully Will Remain What It Is Now. I Will Definitely Learn To Feel Content For Getting This Precious Opportunity. No Matter What.... Im Just Happy Today.... Hope It Will Remain This Way As Long As Possible....

When out for advance Chinese New Year lunch today with team mates. Everything was fine, nice foods and etc. Smile & jokes around till when everyone ask me where is he..... this & that till i dun know what to say, only reason is to say he is busy helping at home preparing for chinese new year stuff. My mind suddenly think of alot of things again. When will it stop.....

Heard from of few frens saying that probably im too sticky in a relationship but i do have given his own freedom if he wants to. I remember when we stated our r/s, i ask that will he get bored if he sees me everyday. The only reply is, maybe you (who is me) are the one who will get bored first. At that time i was very very happy, coz i thought that i had found someone who loves the companion of his own bf. But after awhile hearing 3 frens saying im a little too sticky, asking me to give him his own privacy i feel so sad, but just kept quiet.

Anyway, once again had told myself not to be a "super glue" anymore in my future r/s. If you want my companion, just come. If not just go and find your own programme. Will not take things so serious next time anymore especially the beginning of the r/s, coz those are the words that hurts you the most in the end.

Anyway am trying to to let go now le. Better now compare to the previous days. Am trying to treat us how we used to be before 27/08/2009. Chat in msn, call him or meet him up for leisure if he is still ok with that beside work. Everthing will back to square one.....

Another Brand new Day..... Albin Cher..... Smile & Be Happy Today. Love Youself When No One Do.... Cheers !!!

Have You Ever.......

Back to work... Will spent all my time fully committed to work now. No more r/s for the time being coz i dun know if i can still take anymore pain. Tring to move on & ask myself last night, even im very sad, couldnt sleep and eat well will it change everything? Will the person feel sad also making this decision? It definitely wont change anything but i don't know if he will feel sad or not.

My mind is full of memories since last night.... prawn fishing, zirca, play, sentosa siloso beach resort, cemetery & also our lovely home... Though its always with frens around when we are out, the only thing i can do is to just imagine we are alone. Remember the time spent in siloso resort celebrating his bday. Thats the most memorable moment. Soaking in jaccuzi & sun tanning, just the 2 of us during the first 2 days. Cemetery during the hungry ghost festival, although im scared to go, but i know i will be ok as long im with him. Our home, watching him playing computer, eat what he cook, do house chores together, watch show together & lastly holding hand before sleep every night without miss.... Seeing Him smile & be happy is what i want during that period of time. Share his stress, lend him my listening ears, care for him & love him.... I never expect to end it so fast, but it still did... (27/08/2009 - 08/02/2010).

Coz its very sad to receive pains & tears as a gift in return when you love the person.....

Time heals everything? Definitely, but its only when will it be. We will just remain as good frens bah if he treat me as one. The only same goal that we can do together now is to close more deals in our work. I will definitely push myself all into work. ALBIN CHER !!!! WAKE UP & WORK !!!!

Officially single from now no matter how hard i tried to save this r/s. Maybe till the end im really the one who dun know how to handle r/s. Dont know what else i can say or do anymore. Difinitely very sad, but what can i do. If there is no chance,no matter how many eyes i closed is also useless. All the best to you bah.

Help........ Cant stop thinking. Though i mention i had move on, but in there i still cant. A fren told me that i had change in handling r/s, maybe is the hurt that i had to let me handle this prob. But it takes 2 hand to clap, asking for forgiveness is so hard for you ? Till now you didnt ask for any. Have you ever take our relationship seriously? Whatever you told me i always bear in mind, probably im taken things too seriously in relationship ending up i cant take it when things happened. How i hope i can be like you treat it as nothing ever happened. Just tell me you wont feel bad for what you did, tell me is there any doubt in our r/s or probably be straight forward telling me you dont love me at all. Rather than im still guessing what you are thinking. Have you ever regret anything ever since the first day we got together? There is so many question in my mind to be solve by myself. Am trying to solve probs so that we can have a better & healthy relationship, but you are always like avoiding. Can we have a solution? Dont you wish for a long term relationship ? I may not believe in forever love, but im trying myself to believe in it by putting effort. Give in to you, try to understand you & listen to you. Cant you see all my efforts? If you really put in effort also in this relationship, you bare to just give up just like that? Have you ever ask yourself what you what from me? You can just tell me if you know rather than keeping it to yourself. I have done what i need to do, if you really treasure this relationship, hope you will too.

Had learn to move on starting from today. Thanks baby for giving me such a wonderful period of time. Though the period is short, but its enough to have some sweet memories in it. I may not know if u will remember or even want to remember, but it will always be in me. Good luck to you......

Once again back to my blog ever since the last day i feel really sad

Want him to be happy, trying to understand him and did whatever i could to improve in our relationship cause i love him. Ever since 27/08/2009, i told myself to love him like the first day im in love with him. What i expect from him i make sure to do it myself first. But......

Im always so stupid to neglect all my frens when im in a relationship, did not balance up between frens & relationship. Cause i gave all my time to him trying to let him know only he is in my mind. Im really dissapointed when he told me he dun really know he love me or not. I know im not in the wrong from the beginning, but still i let him decide if he still love me or not before i decide i want to forgive or not.

Guess blog is the only place where i can express my feeling when i do not know who to talk to this time when i had already neglect my frens Jac & group. What a memory before Valentines' Day. Guess i have to cancel all my planning specially for him.....